Closed Mouth Don’t Get Fed
That’s what they say, right? And it’s so true. Have you ever received something you wanted without asking for it?
Maybe. But the likelihood of it happening again is low. So, why don’t we speak up?
I might be young, but I’ve experienced enough to realize that as people, we’re often scared of what others might think, afraid to ask for help, and just plain scared.
Period.
For the sake of conversation, let’s consider me as an example. I used to be extremely afraid of asking for help.
As a kid, I wanted to be a “grown-up.” Kids see adults as independent, brave, and able to handle everything on their own.
When we were kids, we would ask grownups for help.
We sometimes need help with things like opening a peanut butter jar or grabbing something from a high shelf because our bodies are still growing, and we find it hard to do these tasks. (Wondering about the quotes around ‘adults’? Keep reading, and it will make sense, I promise!)
As we get older, our bodies grow—like, we become physically bigger. Suddenly, we can reach high shelves, our hands get strong enough to open peanut butter jars, and we start feeling independent.
And just like that, we stop needing help. But why? Is it because we’ve become so able that we think we can handle everything on our own?
Some might not like the idea.
“I can manage it.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
We often say these things when we’re upset or frustrated with our situation or ourselves. But, deep down, we might not believe it. It’s like we’re annoyed that we haven’t “figured it out” yet.
When we use these phrases, what we’re saying is, “I’m too scared to ask for help, so I’ll act like everything’s okay, even though I need support with this problem.”
What happened to that openness you had as a child? The readiness to say you need help and that you don’t have all the answers.
I won’t act like I know everything, but I’m glad to share my opinion.
We hid it.
We’re scared to admit that we’re scared. How ironic!
Once upon a time, we couldn’t open that peanut butter jar or reach the high shelf. But we asked for help until we learned how to do it ourselves.
As “grown-ups,” we’ve formed opinions about who we are and who we’re not. But we’re mistaken. I’d go as far as to say that our idea of what an “adult” is doesn’t exist!
Being a “grown-up” isn’t some superior level of being human, like we think when we’re young. “Adults” are simply humans. And being human means being part of a community, working together, collaborating, and, yes, sometimes asking for help.
We’re scared to ask for help at work because we worry people might think we can’t handle a task. In our relationships, we hesitate to ask for help because we don’t want to admit that we might not fully understand the needs of our loved ones.
And we’re scared to ask for help in our personal lives because we worry people might see us as someone who doesn’t have it all together, even though we try to show a different image to the world.
Do you see a repeating theme? Is there a word that stands out as important here?
Life and everything in it can be tough and scary. And it’s okay to feel afraid at times.
It is like a time of joy when everything feels just right, smoothly running like a well-oiled machine or a brand-new high-performance sports car.
Do we ignore the happy times? Haha.
Who would be silly enough to do that?
I want you to think about it. Why do we ignore it when we’re in a time of fear?
Accept it.
Put aside your pride and seek the help you insist you don’t need. There’s no such thing as “adults.” It’s all about being “adults.”
What does that mean exactly? Adults.
Add yourself. Expand your skills. If knowledge is power and progress, why don’t we keep adding new information to our understanding?
We shouldn’t fear asking for help.
Whether it’s about a new task at work, in our personal lives, or with our spirituality… Even Jesus sought help.
What makes us think we’re so able to not do what he did?
Psalm 107:28–30 says, “When they were in trouble, they called to the Lord, and He rescued them from their troubles.
He calmed the storm, so the sea became quiet.
They were happy because it was calm, and He guided them to where they wanted to go.” Now, you might not be someone who has faith.
That’s okay.
You don’t need to be a Jesus follower to pick up a few lessons and use them in the storms of your life.
Ask for help, and let the advice of a mentor, friend, the Lord, or anyone else guide you to where you want to be.
Be an adult and keep adding to yourself. Don’t be scared to admit you don’t have everything figured out because, whether people say it or not, none of us has it all figured out.
James 1:5 says, “If any of you need wisdom, ask God, who gives to everyone generously and without finding fault, and you will receive it.”
Samuel H. Martinez
Enhance your faith-led leadership journey with God First Life Next. Explore empowering insights at “Encouragement in Daily Life: Small Acts, Big Effects” Let faith guide your leadership. Click for purposeful living at GodFirstLifeNext.org.
